I wanted to let readers get the last word on the "Is No Sex Sex-Positive" post--between Bitch, Facebook, Harpyness and e-mails I received, it was clear that everyone had an opinion about not having sex, and why/whether conscious celibacy is an inherently feminist or sex-positive decision. Once again, people thought of aspects to the debate that I hadn't, including discussion of non-intercourse sex acts and asexuality. There was much back-and-forth over what constituted "sex" and "being sexual." What about all that fun non-penetrative stuff? Are you really celibate if you're giving/receiving oral sex? How about mutual masturbation? It was clear we all had just as many opinions about the feminist implications of NOT having sex as we do about the many different ways we have it.
Roman Polanski raped a child. Let's just start right there, because that's the detail that tends to get neglected when we start discussing whether it was fair for the bail-jumping director to be arrested at age 76, after 32 years in "exile" (which in this case means owning multiple homes in Europe, continuing to work as a director, marrying and fathering two children, even winning an Oscar, but never -- poor baby -- being able to return to the U.S.).
Gwen and her mother Janine fell on hard times when her father lost his job; they later lost the house as they were unable to keep up payments. Soon after, Gwen's father left them and they became homeless...
Job loss? Homeownership kaput? Sounds like what a sizeable chunk of America experienced this past year! Looks like American Girl is very up to date with contemporary issues that girls (and their parents) can relate to, or at least recognize (see also: Chrissa vs. the cyber-bullies!). Color me cynical, but I can't help but feel this is just a marketing strategy by the Mattel-owned company.
A brilliant and counter-intuitive comment from reader jordanb in the "Rear Ended by Porn" comment thread is the inspiration for today's post. Check it out:
Becky I'm interested to know if you've ever thought about abstinence from a sex positive feminist type of perspective. I mean, in some ways it seems like "not having sex" is an option that has been completely co-opted by the abstinence only sex ed types, and exists only as a purely moral decision. I'm struck by the absence of discussion of abstinence from a sex positive feminist perspective. But isn't it also important to reframe not having sex in sex positive terms? In strange way,though, in all of these discussions you've started (at least on Bitch) about sex, it seems like you've revealed the most taboo option in the minds of many sex positive folks is not to have sex.
Can you be sex-positive and still choose or advocate celibacy? Or are the two things mutually exclusive?
Just when you thought there were no more reasons to hate the beauty industrial complex, right? I mean, first they shove the idea down our throats that as women we need painted nails, painted lips, processed hair, perfumed skin, and even chemically enhanced eyelashes, and now beauty products are the next weapons of mass destruction!
You read that right; earlier today in New York a man was arrested on the charge that he "had recently bought bomb-making supplies from beauty supply stores" and was planning on using them for evil. And not just the kind of evil that makes you feel bad about your fingernails, either.
In which we explore what Time Magazine dubs "the retrosexual"--when reconnecting via Facebook gives you a second chance to hook up with that hot girl or guy you missed out on in high school, an experience poetically described as springing "from an intense, almost uncontrollable mixture of nostalgia and interest" (and perhaps, horniness).
Also featuring a blatant and revealing overshare about my own retrosexual experience with my high school crush.