Ahem. I mean "Hello, distinguished readers of the Bitch community. Pleased to make your acquaintance. How do you do?" My name is Caitlin and this is my new blogging series, "Tales From The Crip." I hope you enjoy it and that we can be friends. Or at the very least, be frenemies who engage in some stimulating conversations.
Say what you will about Old Navy, its ad team knows their audience. They got the attention of late-twenty-early-thirtysomethings with a Blossom reunion, a 90210 reunion, and now they've brought America's Sweethearts: 1997 Edition to the small screen and crammed 'em inside of a boombox. That's right—Backstreet's Back!
Last month, Hooters launched a creepy ad campaign with the hopes of attracting women to its "delightfully tacky yet unrefined" chain of restaurants. Wondering how a "breastaurant" with a boob euphemism for a name plans on making women feel right at home? Yeah, same here.
Remember those BIC For Her pens that inspired hilarious customer reviews a while back? Well, they weren't the first pens to be marketed to small-handed, weak-fingered women.
In "Girlie Pens, Again? Why Ordinary Things Go Pink" Lisa Hix explores the reasons behind Pink Think, when "mid-century manufacturers realized that if you take an ordinary object, turn it pink, and put the word 'Lady' in front of the name, then you've created a product 'for women' that can be sold for more money."
When I was in elementary school, we played a game in P.E. where we basically just threw foam balls at targets. My mean gym teacher Ms. Heinz would make the girls stand closer to the targets than the boys, because presumably 8-year-old males have rocket arms or something while 8-year-old females need special accommodations just to get a nerf ball off the ground (not the case). I remember thinking, "Why do we girls need our own version of this dumb game when we could just play the one the boys are playing?" My thinking is similar, if gender-role-reversed, when it comes to MANteresting. Who needs a men-only, crappier version of Pinterest?
Maude Lebowski called. She wants her vagina art back.
Lest you think nothing good could come of this essentialist (only women with vaginas who have orgasms that come from sexual partners can be creative or experience feminine joy), privileged (Wolf recounts looking out from her "little cottage upstate," contemplating her vadge next to a "cold iron wood stove," and she is getting paid to write a book about it), prescriptive (ladies, if you want a partner who treats your vagina right that person best be familiar with "the Goddess Array"), cringe-worthy (see: "yoni massage") tome, think again: Ariel Levy has written a smart and hilarious review and you should read it.
You may have seen the hilarious Amazon customer reviews for the BIC "For Her" Ball Pen that have been circulating the web this week. Written in response to BIC's ludicrous idea that women need a pen with an "Elegant design - just for her!" and a "Thin barrel to fit a women's hand," the reviews are smart, sarcastic, and sounding alarms in the social media world for all the wrong reasons.
Legendary comedienne Phyllis Diller died yesterday at the age of 95. Though she wasn't the first woman to do standup comedy, her jokes about domestic life and her willingness to make fun of herself paved the way for countless funny ladies who came after her.
We spend a lot of time in the handful of decades that we exist in this world being told things and telling things. But there are comparitively very few moments when we allow our pretenses to drop and we come together to share something honest, and complex, and for many of us a little (or a lot) scary. That's a transformative thing.