A while back when a girlfriend and I were walking by a billboard for
the Vivica Fox-hosted reality show, "The Cougar." I made some snarky
comment about this not exactly being the equality feminists dream of, and the friend gave me a cheeky grin and said, "You know, that
older woman is only 39."
That's less than five years away, folks. Apparently I don't have long
before I go from flirty thirty-something sexual adventurer to predatory
over-the-hill sexual adventurer, at least in the eyes of TV producers.
I should probably call ahead to see if they can line up some callow
youths for me. But the problem is, I'm not particularly attracted to
young men. In fact, I already know I would just plain suck at being a
cougar.
I have three little brothers who range in age from 23-18. The little
brothers have friends. More than once, the friends have hit on me, and
some of these guys were--objectively speaking--pretty hot. But while a
college athlete's body is a thing of beauty, I wasn't all that tempted.
First of all, I knew that even just a fun roll in the hay would condemn
my brothers to years of "Yo, Sharper, I fucked your sister!" I couldn't
do that to them. Second of all, as I recall from my own experience,
college guys are fairly lousy in the sack. Energetic and enthusiastic
maybe, but their technique usually needs a lot of refining.
Granted, there are some women who like that. Madonna, when asked about
her predilection for very young men, once said: "They don’t know what
they’re doing, but they can do it all night long." Yikes.
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