I had a heated conversation with a friend yesterday about the disheartening, to say the very least, Ray Rice decision. This friend was vehement about the fact that if a woman beat a man unconscious, I'd never hear about it on a Feminist news site and Feminists everywhere would congratulate the woman for standing up for herself.
I'm powerful. I'm fabulous. I'm unashamed. I'm a boss-ass bitch....most of the time. No matter how much I have been empowered, I seem to come back to my cup size, or lack of it. I love myself, but I can't escape the feeling that I need to be larger for acceptance. The hard part is that women cause me to feel this way as much as men do, the eyes that go up and down, sizing competition and establishing beauty.
I was hoping to gather some thoughts. I consider myself a feminist, I campaign for equal rights and I work in the field of sexual assault and family violence. I give thought to things like body shaming and I understand about socially constructed beauty ideas. I would like people to accept me for my thoughts, values and humor.
But, I really dislike to the point of hating my body.
I constantly find myself putting forth the argument that men get paid more for the same job as women—and although I have research, I still find that people, even women, tell me that I'm wrong and that the Census bureau takes all jobs into account and blah blah blah.
I'm stuck between the rock and the hard place. My partner and I recently married but we've been together for seven years now. I'm from a country in South America and he's from the US. His family has been very nice to me but it hasn't been easy.
I am dealing with a difficult situation involving my partner of three years and many friends and acquaintances. A few years ago I was in an abusive relationship with a man I met through the music scene. He sexually and emotionally abused me and used me financially.
My partner of over 8 years has been a consistent feminist since day one. He will speak up when people say sexist things, he's pro-choice, not conservative, and treats me like his equal. He has said how he thinks it is out of line when men tell their girlfriends they can't wear revealing clothing. However, last weekend we were out with another couple and someone mentioned a nudist colony.
I have been with my current partner for over two years now and we are happily living together with set plans to get married in the very near future. My partner has a few friends that I sometimes I ask myself how a smart and insightful person such as himself could be friends with, but I've brushed it off as nothing until today. My partner has a certain friend who is extremely (not that you can place racism on a continuum scale) racist towards Middle Eastern people.