An acquaintance invited me to her new house with a few other people. We were alone, talking about how we hadn't seen each other in awhile, and she offered me this "compliment": "Me and [mutual friend] were talking about you, you're always so body positive!"
I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and we are very happy together. He tells me all the time how much he loves me and wants to be with me forever. However, there is one small problem that has always bothered me. He doesn't seem to like the way I dress, because I tend to dress comfortably, or as he puts it, I dress "too simple.”
So, I have this ex-girlfriend—we started dating in college when we lived in the same co-op, and maintained a mostly long distance relationship for about two and a half years afterward. It was challenging, to say the least. We probably were better suited to be friends than lovers in the first place, and the distance didn't help.
My spouse and I have known each other about 5 years and got married last year in a truly joyous celebration. She still has issues with living with a child—my 13 year-old daughter—and has a hard time with my my ex, my daughter's father.
I had a heated conversation with a friend yesterday about the disheartening, to say the very least, Ray Rice decision. This friend was vehement about the fact that if a woman beat a man unconscious, I'd never hear about it on a Feminist news site and Feminists everywhere would congratulate the woman for standing up for herself.
I'm powerful. I'm fabulous. I'm unashamed. I'm a boss-ass bitch....most of the time. No matter how much I have been empowered, I seem to come back to my cup size, or lack of it. I love myself, but I can't escape the feeling that I need to be larger for acceptance. The hard part is that women cause me to feel this way as much as men do, the eyes that go up and down, sizing competition and establishing beauty.
I was hoping to gather some thoughts. I consider myself a feminist, I campaign for equal rights and I work in the field of sexual assault and family violence. I give thought to things like body shaming and I understand about socially constructed beauty ideas. I would like people to accept me for my thoughts, values and humor.
But, I really dislike to the point of hating my body.