I have been with my current partner for over two years now and we are happily living together with set plans to get married in the very near future. My partner has a few friends that I sometimes I ask myself how a smart and insightful person such as himself could be friends with, but I've brushed it off as nothing until today. My partner has a certain friend who is extremely (not that you can place racism on a continuum scale) racist towards Middle Eastern people.
I am currently in a relationship with my childhood sweetheart. She is a rape survivor and we have been together for over seven years now (since we graduated from high school). But lately, I'm getting tired of her really low self-esteem and how it's preventing her from: 1. Getting a job, 2. Getting back into university, and 3. Doing just about anything that would bring food to the table.
I need some help on how to talk to a friend about her flirting technique. We're not particularly close, but we do go out to bars and clubs together sometimes as part of a group, and we've known each other since high school (almost a decade now). Her way of flirting generally consists of pretending guys are annoying her, being sarcastic and dismissive, and playing hard to get. Essentially she says "no" when she means "yes" a lot.
Welcome to Ms. Opinionated, our weekly advice column dealing with questions of life, love, feminism, and pop culture. Submit your anonymous questions here. This week, Nicole Georges takes on a question from a server who has to deal with a big ol' pile of sexism at her job. Nicole responds with a comic!
I am a server at a chain steakhouse restaurant. I'm wondering what kind of advice or suggestions you might have regarding sexist comments that customers make.
I don't like sex at all, and in fact it brings up some traumatic memories. It's painful for me to be around sexual situations. Even seeing certain phrases or behaviors makes me panic, and this makes my sex-positive friends very angry with me. How can I live my life in peace without having to deal with sexual material all the time?
Welcome to Ms. Opinionated, our weekly advice column dealing with questions of life, love, feminism, and pop culture. This week, Sydette Harry takes on a question about feeling like you're a "bad" feminist.
Dear Ms Opinionated,
I'm a 22-year-old female who never saw myself as a feminist. Only recently, when I started reading up on feminism on a whim, did I realise that I actually agree with many "feminist" views (e.g. wage equality, availability of emergency contraception, abortion rights and anti-rape culture).
Welcome to Ms. Opinionated, our weekly advice column dealing with questions of life, love, feminism, and pop culture. This week, Nicole Georges takes on a question we've all had: How do you deal with an intolerable dude who constantly applauds how enlightened he is?
I have a guy who is in my circle of friends who is quite loud an opinionated. He's your typical white, middle class, privileged male who knows everything. He can be fun in small doses, but he's also a racist, homophobic misogynist—and makes excuses like he hates everyone equally or is only kidding.
Welcome to Ms. Opinionated, our weekly advice column dealing with questions of life, love, feminism, and pop culture. This week, a reader writes in with one of feminism's most enduring conundrums: How can men help the feminist movement?
Dear Ms. Opinionated,
I'm a guy, and I've developed quite an interest in feminism over the last few months. While I know that there is a systematic laziness to portray women as individuals, I find it's a difficult subject to talk about with people. When I mention things like the Bechdel Test and how most movies fail it I have a tendancy to tiptoe around the issue, because it feels like bringing it up is somehow rude. It even sounds shameful/embarassing for me to say "I'm a feminist", so I say "I've been learning about feminism" as if to separate myself from it. What advice do you have for men who want to help the feminist movement?
Let's face it: All of us need a little help sometimes.
That's why we launched a feminist advice column, Ms. Opinionated, back in October 2012. Writer Megan Carpentier served as Ms. Opinionated advice columnist for a year, penning thoughtful answers to questions like "Should people getting married consider how much it will cost their friends to attend the wedding?" (answer: yes) and "What should I do about my friend's 'personal brand' being a slur?" (answer: Listen to this They Might Be Giants song).
Now, we're relaunching Ms. Opinionated with three great new columnists. You can send in a question on any topic and one of these three smart folks will field it.
SYDETTE HARRY is a writer, performer, and nerd. She tweets and blogs under the name Blackamazon and performs with The Body Ecology Performance Ensemble in New York. She manages it all with ADHD pride.
NICOLE GEORGES is an artist, illustrator, and long-time zinester. She has numerous creative projects, including touring twice with the Sister Spit roadshow and creating adorable animal calendars. Her graphic novel memoir Calling Dr. Laura deals with family, queerness, and identity and was published last year. She is currently a Fellow at the Center for Cartoon Studies in Vermont.
ANDI ZEISLER is a co-founder of Bitch and our current creative and editorial director. She's the author of the book Feminism and Pop Culture and editor of BitchFest: 10 Years of Cultural Criticism from the Pages of Bitch Magazine. She passes her non-Bitch hours watching television, hanging out with her family, embroidering portraits of dogs, and subscribing to whatever magazines are left on Earth.
Email in your questions right here. Don't be shy—feel free to ask about big issues like race, gender, and sexuality or personal things like dating and family. Your identity will always remain anonymous. Feel free to address your question to a specific columnist or leave it open to any of the three to take it on.