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Douchebag Decree

Bitch Media says unto you, "THOU ART A DOUCHEBAG!"

Douchebag Decree: Disney's Grab for Dia de Los Muertos and Half-Assed Apology

Douchebag Decree post by Emilly Prado on May 8, 2013 - 2:24pm; tagged cultural appropriation, Disney.

DOUCHEBAG DECREE logo

Oh, Disney.  We don’t always want to hate on you. Sometimes we even debate whether your princesses have gotten better over the years. But now you want to trademark the phrase “Dia de los Muertos”?!

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0 comments

Douchebag Decree: Saturday Night Live Makes Trans* People Their Punchline

Douchebag Decree post by Avital Norman N... on March 11, 2013 - 11:30am; tagged Justin Timberlake, Saturday Night Live, she's got a dick, transgender, transphobia.

Douchebag Decree header

I’ll be the first to admit that Saturday Night Live is a totally hit or miss show these days. There are definitely some skits that cause me to cramp up from laughing so hard, while others leave me bored. I get it - it takes a lot to put on a live, hour-and-a-half variety show every week, and not every joke will be a zinger. And while I don’t expect every second to make me laugh, I also don’t expect there to be parts of the show that will make me cringe and rage.

This past Saturday night started off promising. Then it turned transphobic. 

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7 comments

Douchebag Decree: Ginia Bellafante, Hater of all Non-Moms

Douchebag Decree post by Katie Presley on February 12, 2013 - 1:32pm; tagged Ginia Bellafante, Hurricane Sandy, Parenting, The New York Times.

douchedecree

The most frustrating about New York Times columnist Ginia Bellafante's Sunday column, "After Hurricane, a New Calling for Mothers" is not that it's sexist. It's that she so easily could have avoided being sexist. People? Volunteering to help other people, because they have the time and resources to do so? Great! Newsworthy! Heart-warming! But Bellafante (and her editors, who deserve honorary Decrees) decided it was critical to their journalistic project to insult and exclude fathers. To say nothing (literally, never mentioned) of alternative parents of any kind. Twice nominated, once victorious: This Decree's for you, Ginia.

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1 comment

Douchebag Decree: Super Bowl Commercials

Douchebag Decree post by Zach Stafford on February 5, 2013 - 3:47pm;

Before each Super Bowl, we see media obsess over two things: commercials and halftime performances. And this year was no different, especially with her majesty Beyonce giving what was arguably the best halftime show in the history of the human race.   

As for the commercials, many will never be considered the best in history. Yesterday, Bitch intern Emilly Prado sounded off about the game's string of sexist commercials. Today, we're declaring that several Super Bowl commercials that didn't land in our "top five most sexist" picks instead succeed at redefining ‘douchebag’ for other reasons. Let’s hear it for Coke, Audi, and VW!  

 

Audi: “Prom”

“The Prom” presents us with the underdog who never gets the girl. But luckily, privileged enough to have access to a new, shiny Audi! He drives it to Prom, parks in the Principal's parking spot (because being "the man" means you have access to everything) and walks straight up to the Prom Queen on the dance floor. Without even a word of consent, he jabs his tongue down her throat. 

The commercial ends with him leaving with a black-eye from the Prom King,  but smiling, obviously proud of what just happened. 

So in summary: if you buy an Audi, feel free start making out with her, no consent necessary, consequences be damned! Now that's romance. 

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16 comments

Douchebag Decree: The 10 Douchiest Reactions to the Sandy Hook Tragedy

Douchebag Decree post by Kelsey Wallace on December 20, 2012 - 9:02am; tagged Douchebag Decree, roundup.

"ye olde douchebag decree" in blue letters with a light blue hand-drawn douchebag in the background, and "BITCH HEREBY DECLARES THE FOLLOWING PERSON A TOTAL DOUCHEBAG" in small letters in red underneath.



Regardless of political leanings, gender, religion, or creed, you'd think we could all agree that what happened last week at Sandy Hook Elementary School was a national tragedy that deserves our sympathy and respect. You'd be wrong.
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30 comments

10 Reasons: Our Douchebag Decree Delivers Weekly Excoriation of What to Avoid—and How to Push Back.

Douchebag Decree post by Kelsey Wallace on December 12, 2012 - 7:31pm; tagged 10 reasons, Douchebag Decree.
gray 10 reasons logo

Over the past four years, the Douchebag Decree has become one of the most popular features on the Bitch blogs. Not because Bitch readers love douching—we know you don’t!—but because smart, savvy, feminist Bitch readers want to know when someone in the media steps out of line. Whether it’s signing a petition to stop the exploitation of girls or boycotting yet another "Just for Men" product, our weekly Douchebag Decrees let readers know what to avoid and what actions to take to push back. And let's just admit it—calling a douche a douche can be kinda therapeutic (and fun, too).
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1 comment

Douchebag Decree: Don't Apologize for Your Metabolism, Lady. No, Really. It's Cool.

Douchebag Decree post by Andi Zeisler on December 6, 2012 - 12:33pm; tagged body image, Britton Delizia, fat-shaming, kickstarter.

woman holding a sign reading "I'm Sorry the Butt I Work For Isn't As Good as the One You Ate For"

"I think this book will probably upset a few people, i think it will be looked at wrong by some people."

Ladies and gents, Britton Delizia, master of understatement.

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31 comments

Douchebag Decree: Mae West and Frida Kahlo's Legacies Co-Opted in the Name of Feminine Hygiene Products

Douchebag Decree post by Kelsey Wallace on November 29, 2012 - 12:11am; tagged Douchebag Decree, feminine care products.
Every once in a while, the stars align and we bestow Ye Olde Decree—named for a feminine hygiene product—on an actual feminine hygiene product. Today is one of those star-aligning days: Meet this week's Decreed Douchebag, Damiva.

ad that reads Drier than a British comedy? Honey you are not alone.
Joke's on you—I LIKE British comedies.
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8 comments

Douchebag Decree: Macy's Won't Dump the Trump

Douchebag Decree post by Morgan Hecht on November 15, 2012 - 11:33am; tagged Donald Trump, Macy's, Macy's Thanksgiving Parade.

Trump twitter

The annual Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade is only a week away, which means we can all look forward to the over-the-top spectacle that perfectly represents this American holiday where we give thanks via excessive gluttony and then, the following day, trample others to death in order to get a deal on toys and electronics.

In advance of the parade, Macy’s been receiving attention for more than the promise of giant floats and huge crowds. It turns out that the public opinion of Macy’s spokesman and erstwhile racist conspiracy theorist Donald Trump leaves much to be desired. Signon.org has created a petition urging Macy’s President and CEO to "Dump the Trump," as he fails to represent the “magic of Macy’s.”

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2 comments

Douchebag Decree: Fujitsu's Feminine Laptops, Because Pink and Purple Pens weren't Enough

Douchebag Decree post by Lisa Knisely on November 8, 2012 - 9:13am; tagged computers, Douchebag Decree, marketing, technology.

 

Back in August, our web editor commented on the sexism of the “BIC for Her” feminine pen debacle. She opened her blog with the quip: “Thank God I'm typing this post on a laptop, because ladies like me need special, feminine pens to write longhand these days.” 

Yeah, about that. I’ve got some bad news.

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